*Just a few notes I took while watching the Sunday Session of General Conference last Sunday. It was so Amazing this Spring.
General Conference defiantly had a theme didn't it? Besides the Resurrection of Christ, the speakers sure did speak about families, our children, and not judging others a lot! It was so touching.
- Dieter F. Ucthdorf- I love his comparison of the battered $20 dollar bill. Stating that no matter what happened to the $20 bill it was still worth something no matter what!!
- Teach your children the truth and the way, and no matter what happens in the world, they will find their way, and make it through the hardships of the world.
- Use Jesus as your example ALWAYS
- Never let an earthly circumstance disable you spiritually!! Your spirituality is so important!
- Love and Respect everyone. Become More like Christ. Love your enemies.
- I was so emotional during Bradley D. Fosters talk. He was the one that spoke about mothers. He used the analogy of the boy and the picture book. It was such a cute story! It made me so emotional by the end though. Just thinking about the role mothers play in their children's' lives, and how important we are.
"The influence of a mother in the lives of her children, is beyond calculation"
Recently, Seth and I had a conversation about how hard it is going to be for me to take 3 kids to church by myself. The kids have been asking why he doesn't go, and since he has been working on Sundays, that has been his answer.
I know this is just going to get harder. The kids will always ask, and it will get to a point where it is unfair that they have to go when dad doesn't. It will be hard.
I felt a little discouraged. How can I do this all by myself?
The talks I heard today really touched me though, and I know how important my role is to my children. I know it will not be easy to do it by myself, but I know how important it is, and I know that everything I have taught them/will teach them, is so worth it.
The way of the world is just going to get more scary, and we need to stand strong, and teach our children how to as well.
When I hear my kids talk about things that they have learned through reading the Book of Mormon, or from FHE, as well as church, I know that the hard work is so worth it, and I will try to do it forever. No matter what. Even when it is hard.
What about the part of his talk when he talked about Jesus' mother Mary. While he hung on the cross, he worried about his mother's care, and who would be able to comfort her before he bowed his head to die.
Anyway, I just think we are incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to hear from our Prophet, and that he can tell us things that our Heavenly Father wants us to know!
I can honestly say the importance of conference just became "Really" important to me last year. Unfortunately, I just found if boring before then, but am so glad for my new love of General Conference.
6 comments:
hold strong melissa! your example will have a lasting impact on your children.
i'm not active in the church but i still wanted to chime in here. kids ask some tough questions, don't they!? i'm sure it's confusing for them to see seth not going with you to church but, one of the churches greatest lessons (imo) is that we all have free agency. daddy chooses just like we choose and if, when they get older, they start to protest going to church, i would tell them it's not up for discussion until they're X age at which time, they can decide for themselves and you promise to respect their choice.
when jake was about 16 he told his mom he didn't want to go to church anymore. she is so passionate about the church. she is an amazing woman. i know his decision was and still is very hard for her but she truly believes in the power of free agency and never made him feel like she loved him any less because of his choice.
of course, he deals with feelings of guilt and has a hard time separating religion and spirituality (which is frustrating for me) but we're working on this together as a couple. he's very bitter towards the church. i think he resents being told how to think and what to feel. again, this is something we're STILL working on!
if it were me and my kids asked this question, "why doesn't daddy go to church?" i would just divert their attention to something else until they're old enough to be able to understand an intelligent answer to a complicated question.
they may very well not want to follow your lead at some point in time but you know that this choice is very personal. i feel like ultimately, your relationship with God is the one you need to focus on. all that you can do is be an example and teach them what you believe so when the time comes, they're able to choose for themselves with all the right tools rather than be pressured to believe.
my kids often ask why we don't go to church or they'll express confusion over things their grandma has taught them. it's very hard for me to find the right words but usually, i just tell them they are more then welcome to go to church if they'd like to but i have chosen not to and, what grandma is teaching them is what SHE believes. i get irritated sometimes that her lessons are taught as truths because they are not truths for me. i'd much rather her say "i believe that ...." so not to cause more confusion for my kids.
it really is a highly complicated and highly emotional topic.
you're a strong woman, it will all be well :)
p.s. sorry for the novel!
Emily,
I write novels too. I understand.
And about everything you said, I agree. My kids will totally have a choice. I still haven't decided at what age, but I will give them a choice. Probably at 16. Maybe younger, I don't know. It depends on their reasoning. I also don't think it would be fun to fight with my kids about going to church.
Seth was forced to go to church, and although he believes a lot of our beliefs,and wants the same for our children, he does not care to go. He finds it extremely boring. I would never force him to go, or be angry with him if he didn't( Although a few years back, that was not the case)
BUT, I also wouldn't hold them back from discovering other churches. With that being said, I would still fight for what I believe, because I think our church is the true church.
I too find it extremely important that every one just worries about their realtionship with God, but then again, that is a touchy subject because some people don't believe in God.(and in my opinion, I don't know how people cannot believe. It's usually people that have to have proof of everything, and no faith)
Ultimately, everyone will find the truth for them, whatever that may be. To me, I have found the truth, and am so lucky.
I understand how Jake feels. Well, sort of. Not personally but through Seth. Although I don't think the church tells others what to think, or believe, I think they guide others to the truth. Not everyone likes that, and Seth always felt he had to prove something which left a really bad taste in his mouth.
Either way, we need to all love each other, and treat each other with respect, no matter what! I think that is hard for other mormons to do, and also stand up for what they believe. Anyway, thanks for "chiming" in. I always appreciate your opinions on things!
I love that you shared your notes from Conference! I loved that $20 bill story and I forgot about it until I read your post. That really was a neat story. Conference really was amazing and I completely agree with you that I used to find it boring and I too am so grateful that I love it now! I seriously feel like every talk was directed towards me. Isn't it crazy how that happens??
I loved your friends comment and totally agree with both of you. Melissa, you are such a GREAT mama and such a GREAT example to them and to Seth and just like you said, at times it won't be easy but it will be so worth it. That is so neat that your children talk about the BOM. I love our church so much and am so grateful to be a member. Love you!!!
Melissa-
Thank you for sharing your notes. It sounds like it was really uplifting and inspiring to you. I always found it so boring when I was little so I totally understand.I don't watch it now so I have no idea what it would feel like for me now.
I am so proud of you for going through the temple for yourself and for always taking your kids by yourself to church. I know it must be hard at times to do it all by yourself. It is beautiful that you are living your truth and what is important to you. That will be a strong example for your kids.
I agree a lot with your friend. When my girls have asked me who God is? I tell them about all the different gods people believe in. I want them to have a strong understand of all people and all religions so they can respect everyone's choices...even if they don't believe in a god.
I grew up with a mother who when I turned 9 stopped going to church and a father who went to church. I know that conflict your kids will have but my conflict was different it wasn't about not wanting to to go to church.I thought I had to choice if I wanted to go to heaven with my father or hell with my mother. Totally different story.
I still went to church for a long time after my mother stopped going and truly the REASONS why I stopped going had NOTHING to do with her. And it bothers me that to this day people still blame her for me not going. I feel that takes away from my independence and my choice.
My father did not deal with my choice to stop going good at all.
But my mother always told me that even if I didn't go to a certain church I should always have something spiritual in my life and I do believe that. I was thankful for her openness to me at a time of much confusion.
Even if it is not your choice that Seth doesn't go, being open to him and your kids seeing that is more important and will give them a better lesson in learning how to deal with people that feel differently about religion than anything anyone can tell them. Through your example of excepting Seth for who he is and respecting his choices your kids will learn to be like that also. I know it is much easier said than done when it affects your choices and your life.
You are open and kind to everyone and I know that with your husband you are going to feel differently than you would with me. Take time to think of what you want you kids to learn from this. You never want your kids to feel like they have to chose a parent.
Being open with them and telling them the truth with an open heart will teach them so much.
They will always ask questions even if you both went together they would still have questions. You will do an amazing job at answering them. You know you kids and your family better than anyone and you will know how to talk to them better than anyone you are their mother.
Julie,
This is why I love you so much! I am so lucky to have you as a friend! Some one who supports me so much although it is not what you believe at all.
You are such a great friend, and I know you truly care about my happiness, whatever it may be. I know you care about happiness for everyone! I love you so much, and appreciate your support!
Thanks Jess! You are proof that being an example pays off! Love you so much too! Call me tonight!
Melissa...I know it's hard! Even though Ron has been active all these years, it's fallen on my shoulders to have family prayer, read scriptures, or have family home evening. There have been times that we haven't done those things very well because I used to just get so tired of doing it by myself!!! But then I realized that if I don't initiate it no one will (except that my kids finally do now!). Mothers have the heavy load of being nurturers but it often ends up being much more than that, as you know. Don't get me wrong, I know that your kids and mine have great dads!! I think there just comes a time when we grow spiritutally much faster than our spouses do. Maybe someday they'll catch up! As far as how old they should be when they choose if they want to go to church...I think I would say they have to go with you as long as they live at home. Seriously, I don't know many 16 year olds who would chose to go on their own, mainly because it's not super fun! It is boring sometimes. But we don't go to be entertained. We go to learn and to obey our covenants with God. Anyway...just my little two cents worth!! You will have to be the example for your children, and believe me, it gets tiring. But they need it so much!!! Love ya!
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